It might have been happening for awhile, but I have been distracting myself from the reality of the situation. But today, everything is hitting me back.
I'm going through a couple of situations and let me break it down.
Situation 1 :
A mate of mine that has been around ever since I came to the United Kingdom, completed her degree a week ago and she just went back to Malaysia. We have been living together for approximately 2 months and in that short amount of time, we bonded. I would say that I'm not a person that would give up my headphone for a conversation, but ever since she moved in, I have changed a lot. I could feel my anxiety level drop massively and it was easy to just live life. I guess that I liked having someone around. Now that she has left, it's like pure emptiness. My anxiety pattern is all over the place and the loneliness is unbearable. But despite all of that, I know that it would rather be selfish for me to expect her to stay. She has a life too and she has been looking forward to complete her degree and to be with her family again. For that, I'm happy for her and more than that I'm grateful to have an opportunity to meet such a life changing person.
Situation 2 :
About 5 months ago, I got an internship at a company here in Sheffield. It did feel a little weird in the beginning especially being the only international person there, but along the way I realised that it is the best thing that has happened to me in awhile. I have the best supervisor, co-workers and boss. They have always made me feel welcomed. In this 5 months, I have learned a lot regarding the pneumatic systems industry with the aid of my brilliant supervisor. All my life I have been around people who want to take advantage of me. For once, my supervisor or better known as E, for no apparent reason is just genuinely nice. Sometimes I feel like he knows what I am going through. Me being an introvert, just makes everything 5 times more difficult than it really is but he always encourages me and never fails to boost my confidence especially when I need it the most. Alright.. Let me get back to the point. So after being a huge part of my development, he decided to leave the company for another job. I don't want to think about what it is going to be like to not have him around anymore.
Situation 3 :
After a couple of years of being single, I finally met someone. And... I think my sister likes him as well.
So I met J at my cousin's wedding and he is my cousin's brother-in-law's friend. He seemed nice when we met and he was extremely good looking. He mingled well with my family and everything was fine until the point when I got back to the UK and he texted me saying that he added my sister on Facebook. And then my sister told me that they exchanged numbers. A couple of days later, he confessed that he has been texting my sister. Then they went out for food and TODAY they met up for dinner.
I'm probably blowing this out of proportion but honestly, what the hell is happening?!
It kills me a little every time my sister tells me something that I didn't know about him yet. Me being in my crazy work hours and the time difference, I haven't gotten a chance to have a proper conversation with him since we last met. And it sucks that she gets to see him for no apparent reason while I haven't had a chance. Makes me really sad that she doesn't know that whatever she is doing is really hurtful.